Thursday, July 2, 2009

I have been diagnosed with discontentment

Lets see today is Thursday and it was the first day this week i have had something to do! Last night after a frustrating two hour conversation with Josh, I realized that I have no close friends in Muncie, no set church and no job. Aka I have nothing to do. So after gripping to Josh about stupid things I realized that I was picking at him purely from the fact of a case of discontentment.

Now don't get me wrong...I am not ready to go running home to my mommy just yet! I still strongly believe that Muncie will become home and honestly this little town is enjoyable. But I am 11 hours away from either of our families and our friends. We are having to visit other churches for the campus house and I am not working.

I am trying to figure out what my place is here at the campus house. I am not the one that was hired and i am not expected to even be involved. But I want to be. Why not? I can learn so much from the weekly connection group, sunday morning services and the students. But what can I teach? I am the one with the simple faith. I am not going to be able to teach them how to dig deeper, the meaning of words or comparing the old and new testament to each other. I learn and live off of personal experiences and the ups and downs of others.

I do know this though. Having Josh being blunt with me last night was good. I know that I am not unhappy with him, I do know that i can't get through this without him. I know that he doesn't want me to have "his faith" and he wants me to find my own thing in the campus house. I know that i am not unhappy with life just ready for things to be something normal and consistent.


1 comment:

Jordan said...

1 Tim 4:11-13

"Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you teach, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity. Until I get there, focus on reading the Scriptures to the church, encouraging the believers and teaching them."

Not everything that needs to be taught has to be spiritual. People need to learn to live, love, have faith and be pure. I think those are too often over looked by the "intellectuals." My opinion - It's easier to learn from a person w/ simple faith than one w/ a complex faith.

Sure, you may not be able to teach how to exegete a passage. But that's what class is for. Teach life and love - be an example to the soon to be marrieds and those not yet there. Teach faith - how to live a simple faith because too often we make it to hard! Teach purity - a desperate need in our society!

Sorry for the novel of a comment! We love you guys! :-)