Lets see today is Thursday and it was the first day this week i have had something to do! Last night after a frustrating two hour conversation with Josh, I realized that I have no close friends in Muncie, no set church and no job. Aka I have nothing to do. So after gripping to Josh about stupid things I realized that I was picking at him purely from the fact of a case of discontentment.
Now don't get me wrong...I am not ready to go running home to my mommy just yet! I still strongly believe that Muncie will become home and honestly this little town is enjoyable. But I am 11 hours away from either of our families and our friends. We are having to visit other churches for the campus house and I am not working.
I am trying to figure out what my place is here at the campus house. I am not the one that was hired and i am not expected to even be involved. But I want to be. Why not? I can learn so much from the weekly connection group, sunday morning services and the students. But what can I teach? I am the one with the simple faith. I am not going to be able to teach them how to dig deeper, the meaning of words or comparing the old and new testament to each other. I learn and live off of personal experiences and the ups and downs of others.
I do know this though. Having Josh being blunt with me last night was good. I know that I am not unhappy with him, I do know that i can't get through this without him. I know that he doesn't want me to have "his faith" and he wants me to find my own thing in the campus house. I know that i am not unhappy with life just ready for things to be something normal and consistent.
